


Elastic Heart

by happyxwalsh



Series: Season 3 [4]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Connor tells Ollie everything, Connor’s past, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oliver was right he is damaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 04:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14036232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyxwalsh/pseuds/happyxwalsh
Summary: Damaged. Oliver called him the one thing that could hurt him the most; damaged.





	Elastic Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song I can’t get out of my head at the moment; Elastic Heart by Sia.

_Damaged_. Oliver called him the one thing that could hurt him the most; damaged. Connor has been called a slut and a lot more awful things, yet those have never bothered him because that was his way of getting through the hard shit in life. But _damaged_ is something the law student has spent his entire life trying to hide.

“Connor- look, you know I didn’t mean it but it’s not like what I said isn’t entirely false. You are damaged, but that’s not my main opinion of you. To me, you are so much more than just damaged,” The older man rushes out, blocking any way of Connor from leaving.

“Except, you still see me that way. You really think that I don’t know I’m damaged?” The younger man snapped, shocking Oliver into silence, “people don’t have my kind of childhood and come out perfectly normal!” Why did that create a pit of concern in Oliver’s stomach?

“What does that _mean_? You never talk about your family, especially your parents,” a lump is caught in Connor’s throat; he really didn’t want to get into a conversation about them.

“I’ve never trusted anyone enough to talk to them about that,” The law student starts getting defensive, crossing his arms; he definitely didn’t think this would be how the night would go.

“You once told me that I was the only person you trusted in your life, is that still true?” Oliver slowly moves closer towards him, like Connor is a wild deer and he’ll bolt at any sudden movements.

“I’m not sure anymore; maybe I can’t trust anyone,” The younger man expresses an emotionless face, staring down at his feet.

“It’s me you’re talking about here, have I ever done anything to make me untrustworthy?” _‘You abandoned me, when I needed you the most’_ Connor really wanted to say that, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He’d have to admit that he needs him, more than anything in the world, and the law student is so tired of being vulnerable.

“I guess not,” he mumbles, letting himself sit back down on the bed and rubbing his hands over his face, “what do you want to know?” Regretting the words instantly.

“Everything,” _everything?_ He’s screwed; Oliver will hate him, if he knows everything. Connor has done so many bad things and he hates himself for it, so how would his innocent Oliver react to it.

“My family sucks; there are so many reasons why I don’t talk about them. Gemma is the only sane one in my family, and that’s saying a lot,” The younger man softly chuckles, “she’d look after me when-“

“What?” Oliver calmly asks, sitting down next to him, grabbing his hand, “there is absolutely nothing you can’t say to me.”

“When I was 12, my mom had a nervous breakdown and hearing her night after night crying her eyes out, seeing her not even be sure of what’s real or not - it felt like I was trapped in a nightmare. I still feel that way,” he lets out a small tear, to quickly wipe it away, “the whole situation was my dad’s fault. I mean finding out your entire relationship is a lie isn’t exactly something that moves you forward in life,” the older man finally understands why Connor is the way he is; Connor doesn’t trust easy because of his dad and he never talks about his family because it’s too painful to talk about, “I’m sorry that I keep things from you, but it seriously is for your own protection. All of us are bad people and you can’t be ruined by that.”

“Hey, you are not a bad person,” the hacker puts his hands on Connor’s cheeks, stroking his thumb against them, “I get you feel you have to protect me, but I can handle anything. I dealt with being positive, didn’t I?”

“Being positive is completely different to mur-“ the younger man quickly covers his mouth, before he says too much, but he’s too late.

“Connor, were you about to say murder?” His silence spoke volumes, “you _killed_ someone?”

The law student shakes his head violently, “no. I wanted to go to the police; Annalise stopped us and she’s been protecting us ever since. Wes just wanted to get him off her, he did.”

“Who did Wes kill?” Even saying that sentence made Oliver sick.

“Sam, Annalise’s husband,” after that confession, everything comes out; Asher killing Sinclair, them covering it up, Connor almost shooting Annalise to protect Oliver, the truth about the drug problem, and any other small detail from his fucked up job, “so, yeah, I’m really damaged. Working for her brings back all of those thoughts I had when I was child. You know, I shouldn’t have been born and with all the bad things; it hasn’t made me want to live any more than I normally do.”

“Don’t think like that, I need you. If you ever start thinking that way, come to me and I’ll hold you until you feel better,” Connor felt himself start to cry, while he presses his head against Oliver’s shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
